National Service encourages bigamy

It's been three months since I blogged.

No, I was not hiding or running from the authorities.
No, I did not run into a dry spell (of ideas..not something else).
No, I am not dead (but dying, like everyone else).

I was just using my full potential on my studies; my exams ended just last month.

Now with the short term break, I have a little bit more time and brain juice to write.

Disclaimer - Before I go further, please be reminded that the contents are purely my ironic reflections of things around me. Entertainment if u will, and not a reflection of my conscience. Please do not get the wrong idea and feel offended after reading it.

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I wish that I had the time to write this earlier. It came to me when I was back in camp during August.

Many people, especially women, ask this question: "Why can't men be faithful?"

This question is as old as time itself, many great thinkers have tried to decipher but unable to come up with a satisfactory answer.

Hey I am no Aristotle, but with my 10 years serving the nation, I think I may have found one possible answer, at least in the Singapore context.

Psychologists believe that a person behave in a way, due to his genes (nature) or his environment (nurture).

Many experiments have shown the theories are correct.

Thus, I concur that a man's environment shapes his attitudes and behaviour.

You may think that I am deviating, but I feel that it is important for me to bring up this concept, in order to make sense of what I am going to write later.

National Service, is a big part of Singaporean guy's life. Although it does not last for 2 or 2 1/2 years (depends on how lucky one is), most of us have to report back for duties annually, for at least a week. Guys call it 'reservist'.

National Service is a not only a duty of men in Singapore; it is also part of the law. If you miss it, or do not want to be part of it, you would be incarcerated, fine or subjected to some other punishments that would be hard to illustrate.

It promotes discipline through regimental duties. You cannot just run away from your responsibilities once they are given. Everything goes by the stick and the carrot. (btw I don't really like vegetables)

To describe it more aptly, it conditions men to behave more responsibly and speeds up their maturity.

Meals are provided free-of-charge, in a place called the 'cookhouse', something like a dining hall. In our context, when something is given free, it usually compromises taste and presentation. This had been demonstrated a few months ago by the food provided to the volunteers at the Youth Olympics.

However, if you decided not to eat the 3 meals that are catered for you daily, it is a breach of regulation. One may be fine or punished for skipping their meals.

On the other hand, every military camp has something called the 'canteen', where external vendors lease the place to sell cooked food. The quality of food resembles those of food centres and coffeeshop found in 'civilisation'. Usually they taste better than the food from the 'cookhouse'. The catch is, one has to pay out of their own pocket.

I would like to reiterate the title of this posting, 'National Service encourages bigamy'. It is not far-fetched and I would list my reasons.

Metaphorically speaking, the cookhouse is like the wife. One is bounded legally (due to army rules), and have to eat there due to obligation. If not, one can scan their ID card to show that they have 'eaten' there. She feels there is no need for pretense, as she is already your wife, thus, she seldom dress up (presentation of food). However, her love for you is visible by the big portions she dishes out.

During the first year of 'marriage', you appreciated your 'wife' for being there when you are hungry, and her large portions of love. Although the quality is not good, you won't voice it out, because this love comes at no cost. (food being free there).

This blind love is also facilitated by the fact that you are too busy, with so much activities packed during the first year of NS. Additionally, your superior (instructor or battalion orderly sergeant) watches you like a hawk, making sure you eat the food, while returning the utensils back after use.

After a while, you get promoted, your earning increases. There is more leeway for you to sleep in and more time for yourself. You pick on your wife's cooking. Suddenly, you find the grains of rice too coarse, too lumpy and too dry. The braised pork too salty and the fish too fishy. The soup too bland and the vegetables overcooked. You hardly finish the food, the large portion seemingly excessive and you feel victimised by this 'dumping'. In addition, returning the dishes is deemed a waste of time.

Your eyes start to wander, as daily you look for an alternative and an escape to this rigid and boring lifestyle. With more money, time and power, you feel that there is no need to endure this.

Ironically, next to your wife, stands the 'mistress' (canteen). This vibrant girl, who knows how to dress up (food displays and presentation) and gives you attention and cooks better quality and tastier food. She does not need you to clean up, "just leave it there," she said. She also gives you variety of dishes, not the same old week in, week out. You just have to pamper her and shower her with a bit of money. It all seems worth it.

Your new life starts. Everyday, you visit your wife (scan card), and make some excuses not to eat there. Then you turn to your mistress for her cooking. Initially, it was only once a day. Then twice and so on. Finally you find yourself not eating your wife's cooking at all for the past week.

You go for an outfield exercise and sweat it out, while bearing the elements, rain or shine. The only thing on your mind is your mistress, and eating her food. When you go back camp, the first thing is to rush to her and not to your wife.

You and your wife become strangers; you despise going back and eating the food. Everyday you pass by her without saying a word, just scanning and leaving. You are seldom at home.

The only time you eat at home, is when your wife cooks something special (western food).

You spend so much money on your mistress, before you know it, you find your bank account nearly empty (at end of the month).

"It's ok, payday is coming," you thought to yourself.

Your wife knows about your secret, but everyday she keeps preparing your food, hoping to see you come home and eat. Daily, she waits with diligence.

You also know that your wife is waiting everyday, but this knowledge that you can go home anytime and fall back on her when your money runs out, keeps you from going home, from eating her food. "It doesn't matter, she's always there for me," you said to youself.

How long is this going to go on?

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Fact 1: It is always livelier at the canteen
Fact 2: Everyone rushed to buy food from the canteen, the moment we came back from exercise. It is overwhelming to see 200 guys visit their 'mistress' all at the same time.

This affair will see many men follow the same path throughout their lives.

Men will always have to deal with their inner contradictions, as they struggle with the concept of bigamy.

Indirectly, NS provides the environment, making it very convenient for such affairs to occur.

Sometimes I wonder what is the rationale for placing both 'wife' and 'mistress' next to each other. Why do they even give us a choice to 'stray'?

Thus, this early conditioning of young men during their impressionable NS lives will shape their future altogether.



The next time you ponder about unfaithful men, here is another reason for their behaviour.

For people who loathes NS, this adds on to your displeasure.

For readers who find that my imagination is too wild for my own good, you are right. (LOL)

Until next time, when I come up with something more far-fetched then this....